I could not tell you what prompted it, so I will just blame God.
I know He/She/It whispers to me in a way that makes sense for me and sometimes it takes a little while for me to get it…but I always do, in time.
I think about Tyler and laugh because God is Divine, She knows the who, what, where, whens and whys of my life. She orchestrates them with such care and precision, at least that is what I have chosen to believe. It feels good to believe it; it serves me to believe that life is happening FOR me instead of to me.
Back to Tyler.
Not many people know this, (and I have asked for his permission to share this) but Tyler was diagnosed with both combined-type ADD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) as a teen and I bring it up because the combination of the two makes for a very organized, high strung and bouncy human. Where I can see a spoon on the counter and not think much of it, for him, it triggers something in his brain, which requires a response – to tidy. Now, notice that I said “tidy” and not “clean”. Tyler is not a clean person, where as I am clean…but not very tidy.
See how funny God is?
This morning I found myself getting so upset because Tyler has moved both the flat iron for my hair and the slippers I had laid out the night before. Because I did not communicate it to him, when I woke up to get ready, both things were back where they belonged, in their proper places, not where I had left them. Because of the beautiful growth I have received in both my faith and in coaching, I knew that this was an opportunity to be solution-oriented instead of angry and resentful.
First, I got into Tyler’s brain – he put these things away thinking he was going to be helpful. He saw something out of place and was not given an explanation so he put them where they belong. Taking myself from my brain to his works every time. It takes me out of my own mind drama and puts me into a place of compassion. Then, I decided to think of a way that both Tyler and I could win…next time I need to communicate which items I have left out and the reason why.
Sounds tedious, right?
Here is the thing, I love him and I have chosen him as my person for life. As such, my only job is to choose him daily with a heart full of love and admiration and in return, I expect the same. (Please note that if you are reading this and agree, that you have a conversation with your partner about this, do not just assume they will be on board or will suddenly pick up what you are putting down.) Also. At the end of next year we plan to start our baby journey and what better practice for patience than my wonderful husband-to-be? (Nope, that’s not sarcasm, he’s pretty wonderful – ADD/OCD and all)
All of this to say that a lightbulb went off. The very best win-win of all would be a life of minimalism. Why all the stuff? Ya’ll I seriously have a drawer in my dresser dedicated to JUNK. Seriously, whyyyy did I think this was a useful way to use my drawer? To be honest, because Tyler cannot see it (since the drawer closes) he was honestly on board too. The loft in our condo that was created to be my home office is a crazy mess, and overall I just have a lot of stuff that I just do not need…and many shopping habits I want to be done with.
So here we go… I am beginning my journey to being a more minimalist human. Here is what I hope to gain from this experience:
Cleaner home that I’m sincerely proud of (obviously)
Less stuff (also pretty obvious)
Knowledge for what is truly important in my life and what is not
A more versatile wardrobe with fewer pieces
A growing & coming together in my marriage-to-be
Better shopping habits
An easing of my anxiety (less stuff, less to worry about??)
A feeling of more preparedness for being a parent (one can only hope)
Confidence in living with only essentials
A new kind of lifestyle & personal peace
I truly believe that becoming a minimalist is going to greatly improve many areas of my life. This journey is not just about the stuff…it’s about the decluttering of my mind and my spirit…awakening to the next, new, lighter chapter of my life, and life-changing habits that I plan to carry with me for the rest of my life (ooh, that one felt a little heavy – that’s a lot of expectation for minimalism).
Here we go!
...maybe I should start with my email inbox...