During this time especially, many of us have taken advantage of the extra time bestowed upon our weekdays, using the time to take a more concerted effort towards our goals whether that be spending more time with our families or building the business of our dreams. Often, when we begin the pursuit of our dreams we feel immense passion and excitement. We envision the end goal and how we will feel when we get there, finding ourselves fired up!
...and then two weeks go by, and then a six more months pass and somehow, we still have yet to cross the massive finish line we have set for ourselves.
Let me be clear, what I’m talking about are those HUGE goals… the ones that excite you and make you want to throw up all at the same time. As I have found working with my clients (and myself!) again and again is that, at some point, that initial adrenaline rush, that fiery excitement dulls down and we find ourselves greeted with new forms of adversity we did not foresee when we initially dreamed up our dream.
Here’s the thing…the only difference between you, Oprah, Beyoncé, Eckart Tolle and the Tesla CEO (whose name I always forget …Elon Musk?) is that they didn’t quit. They didn’t stop…they had grit.
Personally defined, grit is that stuff that keeps your going when it would be easier to stop. It’s the promise to continue taking action until you get the result that you want. To aid you in the pursuit of grit I have found three things to be extremely helpful…
· Vision
· A compelling why
· Love for the present
Let’s break these down, shall we?
Vision
This is my favorite part! This is the part that jazzes me up, gets me going and makes me feel alive. Vision is the space in which you get to go there in your mind. You have lost the weight, built the business, met the person, got the job, took the trip. This is where you get to imagine what it feels like to have accomplished your goal, who you have become, who you talk to and spend your time with, how you spend your time, where you go and live and socialize. Vision is where you expand the possibility of your life. You access what might be possible. Let me tell you something that changed the way I saw my life: if you can imagine it, it’s possible. You would not be given a vision if you could not achieve it. Now yes, do I believe that the initial vision and what we end up creating tend to look a little different in the end? Absolutely! But that’s not the point, the point is to allow yourself to go there – to believe in the massive possibility for your life.
At least weekly (daily is ideal), set a timer for 10 minutes, allow yourself to step into possibility and write everything that comes up! Don’t know where to start? Read the vision paragraph again to get some ideas (where do you go, etc.)
A Compelling Why
As stated earlier, there will come a time (rather, many times) on the journey to your huge goals that it will feel all too hard, too much, you might feel too small or simply feel like it’ll never happen…that dream life just is not available to you. A compelling why brings me right back to why I began this journey to build a Life Coaching empire in the first place. Here’s the thing, as much as I would like to tell you “as long as you are passionate about your vision, you will get there” sometimes the vision itself on our hard days can feel daunting, and other days, as lavish as that vision may appear, it simply will not be enough to motivate. A compelling why goes beyond the vision to give you a deeper reason to keep going.
Now, this does not mean you have to want to make a million dollars AND save the whales, but it does mean that you have to go after your dreams for a reason that is meaningful to you.
If your response is “Well, honestly, I just want to be financially comfortable” that’s great! But we need to go deeper. What is the impact of you being financially comfortable? What does that mean? And then when you answer that, ask yourself again, why? See just how deep you can go, even when your brain is like “that’s it!” ask once more, what else?
Love for the Present
Last, but not least, I recommend a love for the present. Have you ever heard the saying “comparison is the thief of all joy”? It applies to more than comparing yourself to others. We steal our own joy when we compare it to what we perceive is ahead. Think about it, if you’re constantly believing that you cannot access happiness until you are 15 pounds lighter, you will spend your days beating yourself up until you get there…and chances are because you have practiced self-hate for so long, it will not miraculously dissolve once you reach your ideal weight.
I had a client ask me the other day, “well if I say and believe ‘I have enough money’ now, won’t that stop me from trying to make more?” To her, I said no. When you want to make more money (or set any goal for that matter), it is likely because of the way that you think money (or any goal) will make you feel. In this case, the client wanted to feel sufficient and abundant. To feel settled.
The beauty of belief work is that we get to choose ahead of time how we want to feel. So, in the case of money, we can choose to feel abundant exactly where we are – on our way to our goal. Versus, showing up from a place of scarcity day in and day out, having lack thoughts and feeling lack as we move through our day.
My goal as a coach is so much more than to just get you to your goal but to help you do so with authenticity, fun and ease. What is happening on the way to our goals? Life. My friend, I want you to have audacious, gigantic dreams, but I also want you to enjoy the journey, the life you already have while getting there. I want you to love your life now AND continue to expand into the next level and the next, instead of white-knuckling their way to the top. Here's the thing: there is never truly any finish line. Life is a journey of benchmarks, the only start and end are when we are born and when we die.
Make the best of the in-between my friends. Use these grit boosters and see your dreams through, with vision, a compelling why and a whole lot of love for the present.
With love,
Nandi