Cuffing Season…(for those of you who don’t know) is the time when singles are on the hunt (whether they know it or not) for a partner to keep them warm, cozy and bring to family gatherings between now and the New Year...for some, that extends through Valentine’s Day.
I first heard the term while in college. Sitting in the back room of Florida Atlantic University’s Rec Center, a very eligible fraternity boy sighed “its cuffing season, you better watch out” looking at the male sitting next to him. When I asked what in the world he meant, he explained to me that cuffing season was when women and men became “thirsty” for love and attention - like a mating season of sorts. It blew my mind. Who knew there was a whole social mating season that I had never before been aware of!
In case you are like poor little 20-year-old me and are hearing this for the first time, here are some do’s and don’ts for maneuvring through cuffing season when online dating:
Don’t play into the “peacock effect” Yup, you guessed it - fluffing yourself up to make yourself seem bigger and badder than you actually are. Yes, you are wonderful and fabulous, but if all of your profile photos have filters on them, you are not showing off your true self. Not only that, but you WILL get found out either through Say Allo’s video chat feature or when you meet in person. Just be your awesome self!
Don’t think that common courtesy doesn't apply One of my biggest pet peeves when online dating was men skipping the “hello, how are you? I’m ____” and going straight to “hey sexy - what are you wearing?”. PLEASE don’t be that person. It is more than likely that you would never walk up to someone in public and say that, don’t do it online. Treat online dating the same as you would meeting someone in person for the first time. Say Allo, (see what I did there?) ask about their interests, share personal stories about yourself - you’re building a relationship.
Don’t sell yourself short (Said conversely: know your worth) I have known too many women to sell themselves short simply because the guy was kinda nice and gave them attention. If you notice things that are red flags or even yellow ones, speak up! The beginning of dating is the very best time to lay it all out and establish your standards. I cannot stress this enough, KNOW YOUR WORTH. You know when you are being mistreated or something does not feel right. You know that you want to be respected, cherished and cared for. Notice when you are not and never be afraid to stand up for yourself - we teach people how to treat us.
Do establish your objective first. Yes, we know you want a partner, but are you looking for holiday love or something longer-lasting? Are you looking to spend every waking moment with someone or is your schedule still pretty busy and you’ll only be able to date casually for the next couple of months? Once you have established for yourself what it is you are looking for, make this clear with any potential dates to mitigate any future turmoil over “where is this going?” and “what are we” questions. Trust me. It’s much better to establish where you stand from the start.
Do believe your match is out there (Said conversely: Don’t settle). Often we get caught up in the joy of sweet attention. Don’t forget to establish compatibility by discussing basic standards (and checking out Say Allo’s compatibility percentage). If you know that having kids in the next 10 years is important to you and your match is a no, don’t waste your time! Step into the belief that your true match is just as eager to meet you (and wants kids in the next 10 years too!). You know when you are settling, it is not fair to either party. Ask those questions and really get to know the person you are talking to!
Do have fun! While daunting at times, online dating should be fun! Enjoy having conversations with people, sharing your story and connecting with other humans. Try out Say Allo's video date feature and get creative with your virtual dates! Why not chat over dinner virtually? OR play a live round of 20 questions? If the process is not fun, ask yourself why! Is it because you are not being true to yourself? Are you in communication with people who are making you uncomfortable? Are you battling with personal self-confidence? Check-in with yourself! Dating, while tricky at times, should ultimately be fun and exciting!
Ready to jump into Cuffing Season now that you are fully equipped with the do’s and don’ts?