My sister and I agree that there were many things my parents told us growing up that we didn’t agree with or felt was hypocritical of them. Things like “wait until marriage to have sex” without acknowledging that neither of them did that…at all. Or “College is the best time of your life”. Meanwhile both my sister and I whilst in college and disagreed strongly. Three years out of college, I can now see why they said this, though I still don’t totally agree. The lie that was specific to me was “You’re lazy”
My "oh no you didn't" face
Now, before I elaborate on why I’ve written a whole blog post on this one lie, let me note that I don’t believe my parents were ever trying to straight up lie to my sister and I. I don’t believe they meant any harm, I truly believe they meant well. Parenting is a mixture of taking advice, doing what your parents did to you and watching others around you combined with a whole lot of winging it. Everyone has a different style; all parents make mistakes and as a family we learn as we go.
My lie, the one that I have subconsciously combated for years is “You’re lazy”. Again, I don’t believe my parents meant to ingrain this belief in my mind or even knew it was possible, but they did. I can remember very vividly being called lazy OFTEN. Looking back, I can see it was truly a mix of me simply being a child, learning responsibility and my ADD which no one at the time knew I had…and to be honest, I’m still not sure that my parents know this. My mom would put things on the staircase for me to pick up on the way up to my room and I just wouldn’t see it. No joke. I would not see the pile of things meant for me right by my feet. This, to them translated as me simply being lazy. To them I was ignoring my tasks and things when in all reality I was incredibly scattered in my mind.
To combat this, without even knowing that I was pushing up again this lie, I piled EVERYTHING onto my plate in from elementary when I first ran for class representative all the way to college. While at University, I was on two executive boards for two different groups on campus, worked three jobs, went to school full time, was a Resident Assistant, volunteered for my church and trying to make a long distance relationship work. Without knowing it, I was fighting against a lie I’d been told my entire life. Now that I was out of the house, I would prove it to them that I wasn’t lazy, that I was smart and capable and hard working.
I kid you not guys, I’m just realizing all of this now. As a coach, I am always learning, revealing things to myself and take self-care seriously in an effort to not only live the life that I preach to my clients but to also show up as the best person that I can – and only getting better.