The other day I was talking to a parent and my vision started to go out; as if I had just stared at a bright light that was now stuck in my line of vision. I tried to think whether I had recently caught my eye on something shiny that might be affecting me at that moment but came up with nothing. This had never happened to me before, so I tried my best just to focus on the mom’s face as best as I could and listen to what she was saying. When she left, I let my co-worker know what was going on and that I was a little nervous about it. If it got any worse, I might have to call Tyler to pick me up and take me home. In my mind all I could imagine was me suddenly going blind on my drive home, crashing into another car or sliding off the road and that was it – there goes Nandi (don’t act like you’re not as dramatic as me). My staff member told me that this happened to him before as a sign that he was getting a migraine. His vision would get wonky and within the hour, a migraine would arrive. This gave me some comfort, at least there was hope that I would survive.
When I got home I told Tyler about my experience and he said it had happened to him before as well. While taking the last and most difficult exam of his college career, he was just about to complete the exam when his vision started to go. He recalled having to simply guess because he could no longer see that page clearly for his last three questions. In his case, it was extreme stress that caused his body to go into overload, affecting his vision.
I contemplated both scenarios, migraine versus extreme stress and realized that regardless, I needed to regroup and rest. I started thinking about all of the things going on in my life… Director of School Age Enrichment, working on registrations and planning for the summer, trying to finish out this school year strong and keep everything organized and engaging for the kids… Alice’s table, marketing this new business of mine, actually being a business woman for the first time, making connections and learning something new about flowers almost daily… Aloha Nandi, my blog, my baby, the direction it was going in, my dreams for its potential and how I continue to build it…and my home, caring for Tyler and Frasier, balancing our lives and making them one, preparing our hearts and minds for marriage and a lifelong journey together. While each of these things brings importance and color to my life in a multitude of ways, giving 100% to all of these things at the at the same time, constantly is impossible, yet something I was trying quite hard to do.
While we are often quite aware of our need to rest, regroup and pay attention to our emotional and mental climates, as women with grand goals (at least in my case) we can overwhelm ourselves trying to follow the trends, take, edit and post beautiful photos regularly, be as catchy or catchier in or posts, build our brands, network and make meaningful connections, find time to exercise somewhere in there and make sure you spend quality time, not only with your partner but with yourself as well.
Find what roots you and start there.
Why are you a part of the activities you have joined? Because you felt this deep innate pull to get involved? Because a friend asked you to? Because you felt pressured by someone at work? Find what makes you tick and chase that. We are wired uniquely, don’t ignore what makes your heart pound. With that, don’t be afraid to say “no, thank you”. We are not meant to be everything to everyone, for then we lose ourselves. Choose what is most important and align with those things. As you go along, don’t be afraid to take baby steps. When I started my blog I wanted so bad to market the crap out of it and reach 10k followers essentially overnight. First of all, while as a business, followership is important, when you focus on that, you lose what is truly important about your business/brand/blog and why you started it. Secondly, great things take time, effort and sincere patience.
My vision has since cleared up and I’m so excited about that. Here’s to mindful steps, authentic work and full hearts… may your journey be one filled with excitement, honesty and love. Keep that vision clear!