Every once in a while – more often than it should happen – I find myself in a place of needing to control my life. Doesn’t seem insane, wanting to control one’s own life…but the reality of it is, that need to control can easily translate to anxious thoughts. “I’m not where I want to be yet. Why aren’t I there? Why am I still in this job/relationship/season in my life? Why aren’t things different already? What am I doing wrong? I’m pushing and hustling…I’m doing my best and things don’t look the way I want them to”.
Have you ever been there? I certainly have.
Dreaming is such a beautiful escape, a great way to create and shape goals and have something to reach for. The problem comes about when we focus solely on the gap between where we are and where we want to be. I do it all too often. Here are three things I practice when I come into this anxious – “I want to be there NOW” space…
Understanding the true deep meaning of my goal
When speaking to a life coach recently about my own goal to be a coach she gave me a simple, yet very meaningful reminder. “Remember you are here to help people”. Regardless of where I want to be, right now and forevermore, as a life coach my main goal is to help people. First, how can I help people from an anxious space? Second, even if I only have 500 followers on Instagram, if I can help three of them, I have done my job. This is my grounding thought again and again “You are here to help people”.
Now, this may not apply to your line of work, but remember what brought you there. If your current line of work is not in line with your goals, create a grounding thought that is more aligned with where you see yourself and what you true goal is. Is your goal to make your neighborhood safer? To protect endangered species? Maybe it is to build beautiful structures that people absolutely love looking at and living or working in. Whatever it is, remember that positive thought instead of looking at the gap between.
Tip: Do something tangible attached to your goal. This can range from creating a social media page specifically for your goal or making a vision board with appropriate words, quotes and pictures. Whatever you choose, visit it daily, get excited about all that is to come and enjoy the baby steps you’re taking to get there.
Imagine I am there now
I was recently listening to @designedlyliving speak about a conference she had gone to. At the conference all participants were asked to come to a closing party. At this party everyone was to show up as they would be. They were asked to come as the person/career they aspired for. But this was not just limited to dress. They spoke and carried themselves as if the dream has been realized. I LOVE this exercise. Even if it is just in your car on your way to work, imagine how you will feel, how you will talk, how you will carry yourself and do it NOW. Trust me, this can be difficult in the midst of a rotten day at work, but mustering up the energy to imagine yourself as the CEO of your own company or the President of the PTO – whatever it is – will immediately fill your up with a lighter, more excited energy. Might even perk you up more than that cup of coffee.
Take intentional & mindful steps
We all know that both Rome and Beyonce were not built in a day. We KNOW this. So don’t expect the same of your life. Instead, make a list of tangible steps you can take to reach your goals. Checked everything off that list? Maintain. Maintain in a positive way. Keep posting those awesome posts, keep reaching out to other businesses or moms or schools. Keep meditating. Keep going on that weekly gym trip. Trust that behind the scenes the Universe is working for your good. What you cannot see is the work being done in the background, trust that it is happening.
Tip: Never stop learning. So you’ve been posting for a year and seeing little growth. Watch a YouTube video about marketing on Facebook and Instagram. Listen to an audio book. These are my new favorite! In your car, while you are folding laundry, when you are cooking dinner. Turn it out, listen and learn. It is truly that easy. Your growth potential is completely up to you!
The biggest tip of all, is trusting the process. Sometimes we are simply in a holding space and we have to come to peace with that. The Universe moves at such a different pace than we do. God knows no time, He exists outside of it; sometimes there is a lesson to learn, use your quiet time to sit in His presence and listen. Have your ears and eyes open for lessons and opportunities everywhere you are. Pray. The best thing we can do for ourselves is take the pressure off. Understanding that I am where I am and that is all brings me peace every time.
I am where I am and that is all.
No pushing, pulling, willing or hustling. Simply being. Simply trusting.
Doesn’t that feel so much better?