• Nandi

Embracing the Gap Between Where You Are and Where You Want to Be


Every once in a while – more often than it should happen – I find myself in a place of needing to control my life. Doesn’t seem insane, wanting to control one’s own life…but the reality of it is, that need to control can easily translate to anxious thoughts. “I’m not where I want to be yet. Why aren’t I there? Why am I still in this job/relationship/season in my life? Why aren’t things different already? What am I doing wrong? I’m pushing and hustling…I’m doing my best and things don’t look the way I want them to”.

Have you ever been there? I certainly have.

Dreaming is such a beautiful escape, a great way to create and shape goals and have something to reach for. The problem comes about when we focus solely on the gap between where we are and where we want to be. I do it all too often. Here are three things I practice when I come into this anxious – “I want to be there NOW” space…

Understanding the true deep meaning of my goal

When speaking to a life coach recently about my own goal to be a coach she gave me a simple, yet very meaningful reminder. “Remember you are here to help people”. Regardless of where I want to be, right now and forevermore, as a life coach my main goal is to help people. First, how can I help people from an anxious space? Second, even if I only have 500 followers on Instagram, if I can help three of them, I have done my job. This is my grounding thought again and again “You are here to help people”.

Now, this may not apply to your line of work, but remember what brought you there. If your current line of work is not in line with your goals, create a grounding thought that is more aligned with where you see yourself and what you true goal is. Is your goal to make your neighborhood safer? To protect endangered species? Maybe it is to build beautiful structures that people absolutely love looking at and living or working in. Whatever it is, remember that positive thought instead of looking at the gap between.

Tip: Do something tangible attached to your goal. This can range from creating a social media page specifically for your goal or making a vision board with appropriate words, quotes and pictures. Whatever you choose, visit it daily, get excited about all that is to come and enjoy the baby steps you’re taking to get there.

Imagine I am there now

I was recently listening to @designedlyliving speak about a conference she had gone to. At the conference all participants were asked to come to a closing party. At this party everyone was to show up as they would be. They were aske