Asking For What You Want

WELCOME! 

Video Highlights

  • Take your time but feel free to use this course the way you want to. Bounce around, take them one video at a time, pause during videos, do all the videos first and then all the growthwork or do one journal prompt a day if you need to. There is no right or wrong way to work through this mini-course
     

  • Asking for what you need is a practice. I get it, you want to be the badass who walks into the workroom tomorrow and asks for the raise. Walks into her bedroom and finally tells her partner what has been bothering her. Walks into her home office and asks for exactly what you want from your clients in a beautifully written sales email. You’ll get there! Asking for what you want takes practice, like anything learning a language or the violin
     

  • Have fun! You have seen the quote on the main page of my website “Decide on your dream life and say no to anything that doesn’t align”. What is the dream scenario when it comes to speaking your mind, standing up for yourself or being authentic no matter what room you are in? Start showing up as them today. (Psst. You signed up for this course - you have already started!)

mini-course
 

Module One: What Do You Want?

Growthwork

Take your time and do these at your own pace. Take on prompts and objectives one at a time, bounce around or only do one of them if you would like! 
 

  • Journal: When you think about asking for what you want - what comes to mind? What do you want? How will obtaining what you want make you feel?
     

  • Fill in the blank: I want to tell my ____ that ____.
    How did it feel to be honest about how you feel?

     

  • Check-in: Is what you are asking for come from your version of success or someone else’s? What does your version of success look like for you?
     

  • Make a list: Set a timer for 10 minutes and write everything that you want from a new pair of shoes to more quality time with your best friends. Don’t stop writing until the timer is done! (Bonus! Notice what your brain says about some of the things that you want. For example: you put on your list “I want to take international trips twice a year” and all of the sudden your brain says “Who are you to want that!?”)

Module Two: What Is Getting in The Way?

Growthwork

Take your time and do these at your own pace. Take on prompts and objectives one at a time, bounce around or only do one of them if you would like! 
 

  • Reflect: What comes to mind when I hear the question “What is getting in the way of me asking for ___”
     

  • Check-in: Look at the following list and notice what feels true for you…
    I am afraid that people won’t understand
    My partner will think I am crazy
    I don’t believe in myself enough to ask for what I want
    I have already tried, I am scared to try again
    I don’t like being told no
    I would rather stay where I am than ask for what I really want
    I don’t want to be confrontational
    I don’t want to/ I’m afraid to risk my relationship


    ...what thought(s) might you add or subtract?

     

*Reminder: practice mindfulness. That is, awareness without judgment
 

  • Journal: Set a timer for 5 minutes: Ask yourself “What am I afraid of?” Write until the timer stops!
     

  • Show up as if: Show up as if you are the person who asks for what they want (Notice: What would change in your thoughts and behavior)

    *Bonus! Ask your future self for advice - what did your best self do to overcome the fear of asking for what they wanted?

Affirm: I am willing to be misunderstood

Module Three: What Is Getting in The Way?

Growthwork

Take your time and do these at your own pace. Take on prompts and objectives one at a time, bounce around or only do one of them if you would like! 
 

  • Be Clear:
    What is it that you want?
    What are the tangibles?
    What are the action steps?
    What does it that you specifically want? Want to change?

    Example: I want to be healthier. What does that mean? Taking walks three times and week and working with a personal trainer once a week.

     

  • Be Honest:
    Is this my want or someone else’s?
    Is this my version of success or someone else’s?
    Am I playing small? What would it look like to go all-in?

    Check-in: When you think about what you are asking for, does it make you feel expansive or does your body contract?

     

  • Be Open:
    When you are asking for what you want from another person or the Universe, be open to multiple responses and perspectives.

    Reminder: Catch your brain when you have a thought that does not serve you, such as “he never supports what I want, I will never be able to…” Try to be mindful...aware without judgment.

    Check-in: what are you making other people’s responses mean about your ability to be successful?

     

  • Trust Yourself:
    It’s okay to feel growing pains and discomfort as you are learning how to articulate your needs and asking for what you want

    Reflect: What ideas do you have about creating what you want in your life?

    Take Action: Let go of the how and show up as if it’s already done!